Worst thing about dog parks?

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 06/21/2016 at 21:40 • Filed to: People

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That one fucking crazy person that shows up. Doesn’t matter where or when; they are out there. Ready to assault your ears with pathological fantastic lies and giving out unsolicited advice, and calling the growling and snarling, and yes snapping, of their dog “playful.”

[Her dog, cornering a scared puppy (not mine) whilst snapping and growling]

“Wow, he sure doesn’t like him...”

“He’s just being playful!”

“Hmm.” I go do something else.

She continues.

“... It’s not about being aggressive! If that other dog would just let mine be the alpha then she would stop growling!”

“...”

“... It’s not about like or dislike! It’s fine!”

[Growling continues, puppy is legit scared]

At this point I just walk away nodding.

This lady spent about an hour telling everyone at the park her life story about blah blah marriage blah blah YACHT CLUB MEMBERSHIP blah blah I RESCUED MAH DOG I’M A HERO holy shit lady. She drove like six people out of the park.

Life and Times of Magoo: The People's Champ > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 21:45

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I was about to deck a woman once after her Doberman attacked my dog...then I quickly learned from others it had done that before. She couldn’t leave fast enough

TheHondaBro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 21:45

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I RESCUED MAH DOG I’M A HERO

A.K.A. Free dog.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > TheHondaBro 06/21/2016 at 21:50

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An unknown B-Side by Lynard Skynard

Agrajag > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 21:52

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There aren’t any dedicated dog parks near me, but they are allowed at a few public parks as long as cleaned up after and leashed. Naturally, every time I go to take my dog there is some asshole with a possibly quite friendly but of notorious breed of dog running around unleashed.

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 21:53

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That joke was so awful I can’t help but applaud it.

facw > TheHondaBro 06/21/2016 at 21:56

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I can assure you my rescue dog has been the opposite of free.

Hot Takes Salesman > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 21:57

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I got bit by that kinda dog when I was out running last summer. I pet the thing and a little bit later the fucker bit me on my thigh. I actually didn’t know the teeth connected with my leg until I started running off again and I felt my leg burning against my shorts. Had to take antibiotics.

That’s why I’m pretty positive when it comes to meeting dogs, because it’s kinda hard for them to be worse then that fuckin mutt.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 22:01

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My local dog park has a divided area, so there's one for small dogs and one for big dogs. I tend to go inside the area and stay close to my dog anyway, since he's not really used to other dogs yet.

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 22:02

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Badly socialized dogs at the dog park are always a concern, but the park I go to is big enough to ignore annoying people. Much harder to avoid a mean dog (especially with a careless owner, which tends to go hand in hand.) Unneutered males are banned from the park, but seem pretty common, and of course are more badly behaved. The biggest problem seems to be dogs who think that trying to drown other dogs in the pond is a good game. On land, all but the most vicious will stop if the dog they are bullying submits, but in the water there’s no way to do that, so even dogs that are legitimately being playful can be dangerous.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 22:07

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Don't go to the giant park in Redmond. It's FILLED with Bellevue and Kirkland housewives that spent a lot of money for their dog to act like an asshole.

Alfalfa > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 06/21/2016 at 22:17

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This is fairly common, but annoyingly enough people like to ignore it and put their little dogs with the big dogs. They seem to think it’s funny that their aggressive little shit gives all the big dogs attitude. But when a big dog decides they’ve had enough and put said little shit in its place, it’s suddenly the large breed owner who doesn’t have control of their dog.

Alfalfa > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 22:21

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The opposite, while not nearly as bad, is still annoying. The owners who won’t let their dog play with any of the others because they confuse play with aggression.

interstate366, now In The Industry > Agrajag 06/21/2016 at 22:21

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I used to take my dog to a couple local parks, but the walking trails aren’t as dog-friendly as they used to be. One has a huge feral cat population (which is maintained by a mentally ill man who threatens to call the cops if you so much as look in the cats’ general direction), another is full of snakes, and the third has recently developed some sort of sick wildlife problem (and also has a feral cat population that may or may not be maintained by the same guy). So around the neighborhood it is.

Hot Takes Salesman > Hot Takes Salesman 06/21/2016 at 22:25

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Seriously I’m pretty lucky, because if that dog’s one or two teeth that connected made anything more than the kinda small cut it left, or was more teeth, you can imagine how crap my cross country season would be.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 22:39

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It's amazing how one person can make a situation so terrible.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Hot Takes Salesman 06/21/2016 at 23:03

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I always tell myself it’s never the dog’s fault — it’s the owners (be it former or current). That being said, I am cautious as fuck.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 06/21/2016 at 23:04

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Now there’s a surprise and a half. I assure you they can make for very unpleasant customers as well.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 23:08

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“What do you mean I can’t change the plan and design of this home build and not have to pay more or extend the deadline?”

screams internally

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 06/21/2016 at 23:10

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When we meet again I have a funny story about a VP of a very powerful company buying a home that we were already working at... you talk about fuuuuuun shit.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 23:16

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For sure. I financed a job for a certain local sports broadcaster a couple years ago. Not only had SHE filed for banko twice in the past (couldn't understand why we thought she was a risk) she went through so many changes on the build that she lost three contractors. She ended up selling the house unfinished and we had to finish the job out of our books.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 06/21/2016 at 23:21

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Hmm female local sports broadcaster... I can only think of maybe 3 people that could be (unless it’s soccer related because I dunno)

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 23:23

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Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 06/21/2016 at 23:30

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That was my first (easy) guess! You just never know with people...

leicester > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 23:43

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I hate the dog parks. Nearly got into altercations both at north seattle and Magnusson with the self-important dog park ladies. Our former dog (lurcher) would mess around with small dogs and if the little dogs freaked out i’d have a face full of self-deputized dog park cop. Which was particularly frustrating at Magnusson, since they have a separate small dog area, yet there would still be some dachshund running around with the pits and shepherds....

Funktheduck > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/21/2016 at 23:59

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I quit regularly going to the dog park years ago. Way too many bad dogs and bad people. Had to call the cops several times. Had to stop a kid from beating my dog with a stick. Nearly got into a bunch of fights and I'm not a fighter at all. Too many people like the one you described. Everyone thinks they're an expert after watching a few episodes of the dog whisperer (btw a lot of his advice is terrible and based on bad research). And all the unnecessary drama. Not to mention it's a good place for your dog to pick up bad habits.

tacogx > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/22/2016 at 01:30

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Trust me, it’s worse on the other side of the Sound. You’ll run into people like that on the sidewalks.

Wagon, semi manual, not brown, turbo because volvo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/22/2016 at 07:50

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Depends on the mood you catch them in. For the most part they just wait impatiently to pay and lift the card with a heavy sigh. The worse customers are the ones that are obviously tweaking. It doesn’t matter how nice you are. If you are tweaking balls you make me wary.